By Sunil Garodia
First publised on 2023-12-09 10:10:24
It is a matter of regret that despite the spread of education, the greed for dowry has not been eliminated in India. The suicide of Dr Shahana, who used to work in the surgery department of the government medical college in Thiruvanathpuram in Kerala and who was engaged to Dr E A Ruwise who worked in the orthopaedic department, proves this. It is being reported that the girl's family was allegedly willing to give (which itself was a crime as giving, on demand from the groom's side, or taking dowry are both punishable offences) substantial dowry - 50 sovereigns of gold, Rs 50 lakhs and a car - the groom's family demanded 150 sovereigns of gold, 15 acres of land and a BMW car. The girl committed suicide as her family was not in a position to fulfill the demand and the marriage was broken. She left a note which said that she was despaired that everyone was focused on money.
It is being seen that families that educate their children demand more dowry. Hence, engineers, doctors, civil servants and the like 'command' a premium in the dowry 'market'. In the instant case, the demand for dowry was increased exponentially after the marriage was fixed, leading the girl's family into a trap. From the poorest of families to the richest, dowry is omnipresent. Sometimes it takes the form of hints while at other times it is demanded out rightly. In many cases, when it is an arranged marriage, the usual way to gauge how much dowry the girl's side will provide is to ask from the person or persons who are arranging the match that what the girl's side will be spending. At other times, it takes the form of gifts in rituals like saying that for such-and-such ritual, gifts of gold or silver have to be provided to so many of our womenfolk and the like. But most times, the groom's side shamelessly hands over a list of cash, jewellery, land or flat and other items that they want.
The Centre is very worried about the damage to the institution of marriage if same-sex marriages are legalized. Others are worried that marriage as an institution will cease to exist if live-ins are allowed and protected. But the government and the so-called guardians of society are not worried about the scourge of dowry. If anything will destroy the institution of marriage, it is the prevalence of dowry and the quiet submission to it by the giver and the shameless and unrepentant demand from the taker. Unless they weed out the dowry system from society, the government and the guardians of society have little right to say this or that will destroy the institution of marriage.