By Yogendra
First publised on 2021-09-06 14:09:34
In a shocking incident, a 65-year-old man jumped on the funeral pyre of his 60-year-old wife and died on the spot due to burns. The incident took place in Sialjodi village in Golamunda block of Kalahandi district in Odisha. It happened when others of the family had gone to the nearby pond to have the ritual bath after the sons of the deceased had it the pyre. Nilabari Sabar could not be saved despite the best efforts of those who were present. This was a reversal of the practice of Sati where women were âexpectedâ to die with 'honour' on the funeral pyre of their husbands.
What prompted the man to take the extreme step? The love for his wife? The fear of loneliness in old age? Loss of purpose in life without spouse? Fear of being harassed by sons and daughters-in-law? Or was it something else? It is difficult to decipher what goes inside the mind of a man when his wife dies (or of a woman when her husband dies). It obviously depends on the kind of background they come from and the relationship they shared. But as two people cannot die at the same time and life must go on, seldom does one hear of the surviving spouse take such an extreme step.
Although it was a rare instance and could have happened for reasons not connected to it, the treatment meted out to parents by grown up children, especially sons and their family, has shown that elderly couples usually want to stay alive together and even if it does not happen, they also want to die together. Sabar may have taken the extreme step due to a combination of all the factors mentioned above or it might have been a spur of the moment decision taken out of extreme grief.